Ezekiel: Chapters 24 to 32

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CHAPTER 24

Ezekiel breaks out another one of his analogies.  It’s about a pot.  A stew is being made in it, but the pot represents Jerusalem and it’ll be cooked until all its impurities melt away.  Something like that. 

Anyhow, Jerusalem is about to fall, and God does something rather severe to Ezekiel.  He wants Ezekiel to be a model for other Hebrew on how to act when Jerusalem falls.  God doesn’t want people to mourn when that happens.  So, to let Ezekiel provide behavior for others to model in advance, God says, “I am taking away from you the delight of your eyes” – his wife.  Yeah, Ezekiel becomes a widower.

And that’s when he must not mourn for her.  He must not go through the normal mourning rituals.  It fits with Ezekiel’s tradition of performance art prophecy, but it’s a deeply sad on. 

Sure enough, Jerusalem does fall, but it happens off stage.  This is the last chapter before Jerusalem falls, but the actual act itself isn’t discussed.  I assume its fall helps Ezekiel’s stature.  Ezekiel has been telling people it would happen for 20 chapters or so now, but now it’s an accomplished fact.  So the weird mute guy who eats cow poo, has a thing for Egyptian penises, and has weird visions – he’s been proven to be a true prophet.  The Bible doesn’t tell us his stature has gone up among his brethren, but it must have risen notably. 

And with his new stature, Ezekiel has some advice: don’t mourn.  Don’t enter into mourning, for this is God’s doing.  God is the one telling Ezekiel not to mourn, of course.

Oh, and God finally gives Ezekiel a break.  He’s sure earned one after his wife’s untimely death.  Shortly after Ezekiel became a prophet, about 10 years and 20 chapters ago, God made Ezekiel to take a vow of muteness.  He could only talk when giving out the Lord’s prophecies to the people. Now God finally let’s Ezekiel speak on his own. If nothing else, this should help Ezekiel become a respected member of the community. 

CHAPTER 25

Now for the beginning of a very different batch of Ezekiel chapters.  This section is his prophecies against foreign nations.  All the big prophets have a section like this – Isaiah, Jeremiah, and now Ezekiel.  It’s not as out of place here as it was with Jeremiah, but it does feel like something wandering in from another prophet.

This is a series of short, standard curses.  In 17 verses, Ezekiel dispatches Ammon, Moab, Edom, and the Philistines – all the main neighbors of the old lost kingdom.  It’s weird – they’re denounced for taking their vengeance upon Judah, and for that they’ll be destroyed by God – but we just had a bunch of chapters about how God will take his vengeance on Judah.  So God will punish the neighboring nations for treating Judah like he did.  I guess they were out of line.  Their motivations were wrong.  God takes out vengeance because they acted poorly and didn’t worship him enough.  The others guys are just out for loot.

Oh, and we stumble into one of the great intersections between the Bible and pop culture.  Sort of.  Even seen Pulp Fiction?  Well, at the beginning of the movie, when Samuel L. Jackson wastes the one kid, he quotes his favorite Bible passage: Ezekiel, chapter 25, verse 17. 

Here is what Samuel L. Jackson says:

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the
tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you!”

Great, Old Testament quote of vengeance, isn’t it?  Yeah, well, it’s actually a Quentin Tarantino thing.  It’s a greatly modified version of what the Bible says in verses 15-17 in Ezekiel, the section on the Philistines.  Here are the actual words (with number to mark when the new verses begin):

“(15) Thus says the Lord God: Because the Philistines acted vengefully and exacted vengeance with intentional malice, destroying with undying hostility, (16) therefore thus says the Lord God: See!  I am stretching out my hand against the Philistines, and I will cut of the Cheerhites and wipe out the remnant on the seacoast.  (17) Thus I will execute great acts of vengeance upon them, punishing them furiously.  Then they shall know that I am the Lord, when I wreak my vengeance on them.” 

Basically, Tarantino modified verse 17, and then added on a new first half to it.  His quote is too long for one verse. 

So there’s that.

CHAPTER 26

Now for the main cursing: Tyre.  Looking it up, Lyre is a big port city in what’s now Lebanon.  And I have no idea what Tyre has done to deserve the venom Ezekiel preaches against it, but preach against it he does.  Folk, after blowing throw Ammon, Moab, Edom, and the Philistines in 17 verses, Ezekiel spends nearly three full chapters on Tyre.  Yeah, I don’t really get that, but nevertheless, there you go.

The actual curses themselves are pretty generic.  We’ve already seen plenty of similar statements in previous Bible books so it’s all just same old same old. 

CHAPTER 27

Actually, Ezekiel gets a little original here.  He compares Tyre to a ship.  It’s a rich ship with all this wealth and bling.  He spends half of the chapter going over all the trade goods that go to-and-fro from Tyre.  If anyone is really interested in the Eastern Mediterranean trade networks circa 600 BC, then this is the chapter for you.

Anyhow, after going on about Tyre’s wealth for so long, Ezekiel turns in the second half.  The wind will turn and shatter this ship, destroying it.  They’ll be destroyed and be no more.

CHAPTER 28

The first 19 verses here continue the curses on Tyre.  That’s 76 verses in all – this after barely four verses for the foursome back in Chapter 25. 

This doesn’t really remind me of Ezekiel very much.  First, it’s poetry.  Almost all of Ezekiel is in prose, but these sections typically aren’t.  Second, I’m extra suspicious after previous chapters.  Isaiah clearly was a compilation of multiple prophets – either that or the guy lived 200 years.  And Jeremiah’s prophecies against other nations were totally out of character.  It’s like there was an attempt to clean up some of these prophets after the fact.  Jeremiah may have hated people, but at least even he’d come out against the right enemy nations.  That makes him more palatable.  Ezekiel might be a weirdo, but at least he’s a weirdo who opposes our enemies, too.

Too be fair, this could be true.  I find the placement of theses prophecies in both Jeremiah and Ezekiel interesting.  In both places they come right after the fall of Jerusalem.  Hey, it’s easy to say it’s coming, but that doesn’t make its fall any less traumatic.  And that experience can rally you to your people – and thus against your enemies.  That can explain these prophecies in both Jeremiah and Ezekiel.  (In Isaiah, the prophecies are more in character; just spread out over too many years).

Yeah, they could be real prophecies from Jeremiah and Ezekiel.  But my hunch is they’re not. 

CHAPTER 29

It turns out the Tyre isn’t the only nation Ezekiel really has a problem with.  There is also Egypt.  This one goes after Egypt – and not for the last time in this section. 

It’s mostly standard stuff.  God is against the Pharaoh. Egypt will be made a desolate wasteland.  Look, it’s really hard to pay attention to this stuff, because it’s been said so many times before. 

But I’m glad I was able to pay attention, because halfway through, the chapter takes an unexpected turn.  We’re told, “But thus says the Lord God: At the end of forty years I will gather the Egyptians from among the peoples where they are scattered.  I will restore Egypt’s fortunes, bringing them back to the land of Pathros, the land of their origin.” 

Wait – what?  This is new.  Well, sure we’ve heard things like this before, but never about the Egyptians.  It’s only been about the Hebrew.  It’s like God forgot who is chosen people are or something.  He’s redeeming the former enslavers of the Children of Israel!  The hell?

Well, it’s not all good news.  He’ll let them come back, but they’ll be, “lower than any other kingdom, no longer able to set itself above the nations.” Oh, so they’ll be restored – but only to a lowly status.  Still, that earlier part sure gave me a start.

Oh, and there is a prophecy about Babylon at the end.  It’s notable for having the latest timestamp of any Ezekiel prophesy: April 26, 571 BC.  His first prophecy came in July 593. 

CHAPTER 30

It’s more denouncing of Egypt.  Actually, while reading this, I noticed something was missing.  It’s not something that would be missing from most prophets, but this isn’t just any old prophet.  This is Ezekiel.  And he’s always had one notable hang-up when it came to Egyptians and it isn’t here: penises.  Where’s all the penis talk, Ezekiel?  In 16:26 and 23:20 Ezekiel goes out of his way to not only bring up Egyptian penises, but tell us how big they are.  But in all these curses – nothing like that.

Well, maybe.  Here’s the best you can get: “The pillars of Egypt shall fall, and its proud strength sink.”  Huh huh. Heh.  Huh.  Hey Beavis, the Bible says Egypt’s pillars shall fall! 

CHAPTER 31

Ezekiel makes an allegory between the pharaoh and a tree.  God says he made a great tree, a big tree, a beautiful tree.  But then the tree became arrogant and prideful.  (sigh) So true – haven’t we all that experience with trees? 

So God had the tree whacked and sent to Sheol.  Trees in hell?  Sure, why not – trees in hell!  Oh, in the last line, Ezekiel tells us that the tree is you, pharaoh.  Yeah, we figured.  But that analogy made less sense in the execution that you’d like, Ezekiel.

CHAPTER 32

Its yet another chapters denouncing the pharaoh and all Egypt.  Short version: they’ll get theirs, and it’ll be because they’ve angered God.

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