Last time, Chronicles I gave the story of Solomon. Now into the divided kingdoms era.
CHAPTER 10
Again, the kingdom divides into two after Solomon. This time, though, there is no reason
given. Kings I made it clear it was
punishment for Solomon’s turning away from God, but here Solomon has done
nothing wrong. You just meet Jeroboam
and he wants to break. It’s out of
nowhere.
The rebellion breaks out and we’re told at the end, “And so
Israel has been in rebellion against the house of David to this day.” Well then – that sounds like this was
written during the divided kingdom era.
It could be after it, but before the 10 Tribes totally melted into the
landscape. And if so, that explains why
Richard Elliot Friedman said scholars believe the author of Chronicles is the
same as the P source from the Torah.
God that guy sucks as a writer.
CHAPTER 11
Same as Kings.
Jeroboam creates his kingdom in the North. Meanwhile, Rehoboam (David’s grandson) has 18 wives and 60
concubines. His favorite wife is “Maacha,
daughter of Absalom.” I wonder if
that’s David’s son Absalom, the one who rebelled against David. If so, that means Rehoboam’s favorite wife
is his cousin. Ew. Well, that sort of thing went on for a
while. Early US vice president and big
time southern rights leader John C. Calhoun married his cousin, and that was
the 19th century.
CHAPTER 12
Rehoboam commits apostasy.
The Bible says, “he abandoned the law of the Lord, and so did all Israel
with him.” (Note: do they mean all
Judea?) Anyhow, that sure is easy. The top guy leaves the path and everyone
immediately follows him. That’s too
easy. It doesn’t sound like they had
much strong belief before, and things like this make me believe that the Jewish
religion was a work in progress that didn’t really reach final form until all
the Bible books were put together.
Heck, much later on they’ll fight heavily against any Roman attempts to
change their religion (like putting a statue of Caligula in their temple) but
here they aimlessly follow. I’m not buying
it.
CHAPTER 13
Apparently, Judah and Israel went to war. The armies are freaking huge. We’re told that Judea wins with a
half-million Israelis dieing in one day.
Those numbers are comically too huge to be believable. But I don’t recall any war between the two
kingdoms in Kings I. (To be fair, I
could’ve missed it; that was confusing for me).
CHAPTER 14
King Asa of Judea institutes a bunch of reforms, the sort of
things a good king does – gets rid of the altars in high places, smashes the
sacred pillars to the wrong gods, etc.
He also beats back a huge Ethiopian invasion. OK, this one I really don’t remember. The Chronicles don’t bother spending any time on Elijah ore
Elisha, but they give us more military information about the divided kingdom
days.
We’re told the entire Ethiopian army is wiped out: “the
Ethiopians fell until there were no survivors, for they were crushed before the
Lord and his army.”
CHAPTER 15
This is more about Asa.
I guess the author of Chronicles really liked him. Well, for a while anyway. We’re told that Oded the prophet speaks to
Asa and he responds by smashing idols and removing them from all his land. He gathers all his people and has them give
an oath as one to follow the Lord.
That’s impressive. He also
deposes his own mother for “she had made an obscene object for Asherah; Asa cut
down this object, smashed it, and burnt it.”
I wonder what this obscene object was.
As impressive and thoroughgoing as Asa’s reforms are, it’s
also ghastly, as we’re told that everyone who disagreed was killed. They were “put to death, form least to
greatest, man or woman.” So it’s a
fanatical religious theocracy – and the author is approving of it.
Oh, and here’s a random detail – we’re told that many from
the tribes of Ephraim, Manasseh, and Simeon now lived in the south, having left
the north to worship God. So yeah,
that’s new.
However, at the end we’re told some rather curious
details. The high places are still up -
- even though verse four of Chapter 14 said he smashed them. This also says there was no war under Asa’s
first 35 years, even though last chapter he went all Mussolini on Ethiopia. (To
be fair, that could’ve happened in Year 36, but if so this is very poorly put
together).
CHAPTER 16
Apparently, the Ethiopian fight wasn’t in Year 36, because
we’re told of a different one here. (Which would mean Chapter 15’s author
really was unaware of Chapter 14. Confusing).
The war here is Judah versus Israel. I’ll say this much for this part of
Chronicles – I don’t feel like I’m getting the same story as before, just
poorly told. There is plenty in these
parts I don’t recall happening at all, and it can’t all be bad memory on my
part.
Well, the battle happens, and Judah asks the King of Aram
for help. This is sensible politics,
but apparently the Bible author really, really doesn’t approve. Hanani the seer (whoever that is) comes to
King Asa to chew him out. You should’ve
trusted in the Lord, not in the King of Aram!
You showed a lack of faith! Oh,
come on, man. Ever heard the phrase
“the Lord helps those who help themselves”?
Well Hanani the seer clearly hasn’t.
In fact, Asa feels the same way I do. And gets the seer thrown in jail.
OK, that’s too much, but the seer was a dick.
And the Bible continues its insistence that Lord doesn’t
help those who help themselves, but who turn to him for everything. Asa develops a foot disease, and the Bible
condemns him for consulting doctors.
Really. It’s wrong to consult
doctors about medical problems. You should’ve
trusted God, not doctors! Man, you got
to be kidding me now. This must be a
favorite passage of Christian Scientists.
And mind you, this is for the king who did ever so much
write for such a long time, too. Just
insane.
CHAPTER 17
Asa died, so now his son Jehoshaphat is king. The Chronicles writer likes
Jehoshaphat. He’s an exemplary
king. He walks in the name of the Lord. He also fortifies northern cities from
Israel. (One key difference between
Chronicles and Kings is how here the two formerly united lands seem to have a
far more antagonistic relationship.
They are fighting or nearly fighting a lot here). Jehoshaphat becomes powerful and has a
strong military. Even the Philistines
pay him tribute.
CHAPTER 18
This chapter is all we get of Ahab in Chronicles. He was a big deal in Kings – the man Elijah
went up against, but there is no Elijah here.
Instead, we here that Ahab is bound by marriage to Jehoshaphat. They go to war and ask prophets for
advice. They are all yes-men and agree,
but Jehoshaphat asks if there are any dissenters, so Ahab grudgingly calls for
Micaiah. This is all as it happens in
Kings. Micaiah says the truth instead
of butt kissing, and Ahab throws him in jail – then gets killed in battle. Yeah, this is out of Kings.
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