Thursday, September 26, 2013

Chronicles II: Chapters 10 to 18


Last time, Chronicles I gave the story of Solomon.  Now into the divided kingdoms era. 

CHAPTER 10

Again, the kingdom divides into two after Solomon.  This time, though, there is no reason given.  Kings I made it clear it was punishment for Solomon’s turning away from God, but here Solomon has done nothing wrong.  You just meet Jeroboam and he wants to break.  It’s out of nowhere.

The rebellion breaks out and we’re told at the end, “And so Israel has been in rebellion against the house of David to this day.”  Well then – that sounds like this was written during the divided kingdom era.  It could be after it, but before the 10 Tribes totally melted into the landscape.  And if so, that explains why Richard Elliot Friedman said scholars believe the author of Chronicles is the same as the P source from the Torah.  God that guy sucks as a writer.

CHAPTER 11

Same as Kings.  Jeroboam creates his kingdom in the North.  Meanwhile, Rehoboam (David’s grandson) has 18 wives and 60 concubines.  His favorite wife is “Maacha, daughter of Absalom.”  I wonder if that’s David’s son Absalom, the one who rebelled against David.  If so, that means Rehoboam’s favorite wife is his cousin.  Ew.  Well, that sort of thing went on for a while.  Early US vice president and big time southern rights leader John C. Calhoun married his cousin, and that was the 19th century.

CHAPTER 12

Rehoboam commits apostasy.  The Bible says, “he abandoned the law of the Lord, and so did all Israel with him.”  (Note: do they mean all Judea?)  Anyhow, that sure is easy.  The top guy leaves the path and everyone immediately follows him.  That’s too easy.  It doesn’t sound like they had much strong belief before, and things like this make me believe that the Jewish religion was a work in progress that didn’t really reach final form until all the Bible books were put together.  Heck, much later on they’ll fight heavily against any Roman attempts to change their religion (like putting a statue of Caligula in their temple) but here they aimlessly follow.  I’m not buying it.

CHAPTER 13

Apparently, Judah and Israel went to war.  The armies are freaking huge.  We’re told that Judea wins with a half-million Israelis dieing in one day.  Those numbers are comically too huge to be believable.  But I don’t recall any war between the two kingdoms in Kings I.  (To be fair, I could’ve missed it; that was confusing for me).

CHAPTER 14

King Asa of Judea institutes a bunch of reforms, the sort of things a good king does – gets rid of the altars in high places, smashes the sacred pillars to the wrong gods, etc.  He also beats back a huge Ethiopian invasion.  OK, this one I really don’t remember.  The Chronicles don’t bother spending any time on Elijah ore Elisha, but they give us more military information about the divided kingdom days. 

We’re told the entire Ethiopian army is wiped out: “the Ethiopians fell until there were no survivors, for they were crushed before the Lord and his army.” 

CHAPTER 15

This is more about Asa.  I guess the author of Chronicles really liked him.  Well, for a while anyway.  We’re told that Oded the prophet speaks to Asa and he responds by smashing idols and removing them from all his land.  He gathers all his people and has them give an oath as one to follow the Lord.  That’s impressive.  He also deposes his own mother for “she had made an obscene object for Asherah; Asa cut down this object, smashed it, and burnt it.”  I wonder what this obscene object was.

As impressive and thoroughgoing as Asa’s reforms are, it’s also ghastly, as we’re told that everyone who disagreed was killed.  They were “put to death, form least to greatest, man or woman.”  So it’s a fanatical religious theocracy – and the author is approving of it.

Oh, and here’s a random detail – we’re told that many from the tribes of Ephraim, Manasseh, and Simeon now lived in the south, having left the north to worship God.  So yeah, that’s new. 

However, at the end we’re told some rather curious details.  The high places are still up - - even though verse four of Chapter 14 said he smashed them.  This also says there was no war under Asa’s first 35 years, even though last chapter he went all Mussolini on Ethiopia. (To be fair, that could’ve happened in Year 36, but if so this is very poorly put together).

CHAPTER 16

Apparently, the Ethiopian fight wasn’t in Year 36, because we’re told of a different one here. (Which would mean Chapter 15’s author really was unaware of Chapter 14. Confusing). 

The war here is Judah versus Israel.  I’ll say this much for this part of Chronicles – I don’t feel like I’m getting the same story as before, just poorly told.  There is plenty in these parts I don’t recall happening at all, and it can’t all be bad memory on my part. 

Well, the battle happens, and Judah asks the King of Aram for help.  This is sensible politics, but apparently the Bible author really, really doesn’t approve.  Hanani the seer (whoever that is) comes to King Asa to chew him out.  You should’ve trusted in the Lord, not in the King of Aram!  You showed a lack of faith!  Oh, come on, man.  Ever heard the phrase “the Lord helps those who help themselves”?  Well Hanani the seer clearly hasn’t.  In fact, Asa feels the same way I do. And gets the seer thrown in jail. OK, that’s too much, but the seer was a dick.

And the Bible continues its insistence that Lord doesn’t help those who help themselves, but who turn to him for everything.  Asa develops a foot disease, and the Bible condemns him for consulting doctors.  Really.  It’s wrong to consult doctors about medical problems.  You should’ve trusted God, not doctors!  Man, you got to be kidding me now.  This must be a favorite passage of Christian Scientists. 

And mind you, this is for the king who did ever so much write for such a long time, too.  Just insane. 

CHAPTER 17

Asa died, so now his son Jehoshaphat is king.  The Chronicles writer likes Jehoshaphat.  He’s an exemplary king.  He walks in the name of the Lord.  He also fortifies northern cities from Israel.  (One key difference between Chronicles and Kings is how here the two formerly united lands seem to have a far more antagonistic relationship.  They are fighting or nearly fighting a lot here).  Jehoshaphat becomes powerful and has a strong military.  Even the Philistines pay him tribute. 

CHAPTER 18

This chapter is all we get of Ahab in Chronicles.  He was a big deal in Kings – the man Elijah went up against, but there is no Elijah here.  Instead, we here that Ahab is bound by marriage to Jehoshaphat.  They go to war and ask prophets for advice.  They are all yes-men and agree, but Jehoshaphat asks if there are any dissenters, so Ahab grudgingly calls for Micaiah.  This is all as it happens in Kings.  Micaiah says the truth instead of butt kissing, and Ahab throws him in jail – then gets killed in battle.  Yeah, this is out of Kings. 

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