CHAPTER 1
I wondered why this was considered to be written by the same
author as the Gospel of Luke, but wow – it’s pretty dang clear. This book starts with an introduction – just
like Luke did. (And Luke was the only
gospel to do so). This intro flatly
states that this is the second volume, and the first volume was a history of
Jesus Christ. Oh, and the topper is
that the author refers to the readers as “Theophilus” which apparently means
“friend of God.” I assume that modern
Bibles don’t translate the word into modern vernacular as a way to hang out a
sign saying “Same Guy Wrote Luke and Acts.”
There is really no reason not to translate it, unless you want to draw
readers’ attention that the same guy wrote both.
I guess technically it could be someone else writing it and
aping the style of the first, but as far as I know, no notable Biblical
scholars think that.
When Acts begin, Christ is still with the apostles. It’s post-crucifixion, but he’s
returned. Oh, and this is where we
learn that Christ ascended to heaven after spending 40 days with his
apostles. So that’s where that detail
comes from. I assumed it was in one of
the gospels, but didn’t know which one and figured I’d missed that detail. Ah, I hadn’t. Good to know.
Before he goes, Jesus promises his apostles that the Holy
Spirit will come to them. After he
goes, they apostles hang out in Jerusalem, basically waiting to be Holy
Spirit-ed. Luke lists the apostles –
and the list really throws me for a loop.
There are 11 listed. OK, that’s fine.
12 minus Judas. Fine – but the
11th and last guy listed is “Judas, son of James.” Wait – what? There is still a Judas. I
got my list of apostles from one of the gospels and I see one name missing:
Thaddeus. Where is he?
Looking it up, Thaddeus is also known as St. Jude, and
sometimes called Judas. Apparently, I
wrote down names from the wrong gospel, as at least one calls him Thaddeus, but
he’s typically referred to as St. Jude.
Well, that sure was needlessly confusing.
Speaking of Judas (the betrayer, not Thaddeus), the apostles
need to pick a replacement for him.
That makes sense. They have two
contestants: “Joseph called Barsabbas, who was also known as Justus, and
Matthias.” My God – how confusing is
that. His name was McGill, but he
called himself Lil, but everyone knew him as Nancy. I get the feeling Luke has a garbled notion of who or what was
going on.
Anyhow, we’re told that the apostles, “gave lots to them,
and the lot fell upon Matthias, and he was counted with the eleven
apostles.” Well thank God. It sure would be annoyingly confusing if
Joseph/Barsabbas/Justus was the new guy.
I just got over my Thaddeus/Judas/Jude confusion and don’t need another
one. Yeah, well – guess what? In Chapter 4, there will be a reference to
J/B/J as if he’s the new apostle. The
fuck?
Yeah, Luke really has a shaky sense of how the Miss Apostle
Pageant went.
CHAPTER 2
When I was a kid, there was a miniseries called A.D. It’s the Roman Empire from right after the
execution of Christ until the 64 AD executions of Peter and Paul. It wasn’t just on Christianity, but also on
the various Roman empires, and some other stuff. (James Mason played Emperor Tiberius in one of his last roles,
for instance). But the heart of it was
on the early Christian Church, of course.
And some of the stuff in this chapter reminded me of that mini-series.
Here, the apostles get the Holy Spirit. I remember this from the miniseries – a
bright light above them, then they all start dancing around or something, and
run outside to an ecstatic crowd. It’s
not the firmest memory, but there it is.
It’s an attempt to capture Chapter 2 of Acts of the
Apostles. The Holy Spirit does come to
them, appearing as “tongues as of fire.”
So that’s the birth light. Then
they began to speak in tongues, which is something Christ told them would
happen before ascending to heaven. This
allows them to speak with people all over the world in their native tongue. Basically, they’ve undone the Tower of
Babel.
They do go outside, and Peter gives a big speech. It’s mostly what you’d expect –
rejoice! For Christ will lead to
salvation! He also says it fulfills a
prophecy of Joel. Huh, I remember
him. He was one of the Minor
Prophets. Also, notes how Jesus was the
Messiah who “you killed.” That’s not
the last time we’ll see someone say that in Acts. I doubt it was stated like that initially, because it sure is
off-putting.
And apparently Peter’s speech is anything but
off-putting. We’re told that right then
and there he converted 3,000 souls to Jesus Christ that very day. So yeah, he probably didn’t say, “you
killed.” Those are more the words of a
Gentile (like Luke) who deals mostly with other Gentiles.
The depiction of the original Christian community sure is interesting:
“All who believed were together and had all things in common; they would sell
their property and possessions and divide them among all according to each
one’s need.” Folks, that’s communal
living. They lived on a commune
together. And commune is the root word
for communism. They are practically a
religious form of communism. As a write
this, it’s a month or so since new Pope Francis condemned trickle-down economics
and the like – and it’s easy to see why he’d do that. The Bible is rather far from “Atlas Shrugged.” Rather funny how some people like Paul Ryan
can claim that the twin pillars of his world view are the Bible and Ayn Rand
without even bothering to acknowledge the huge differences in them, let alone
try to explain/rationalize them away.
CHAPTER 3
It’s more of the Peter show. He cures the sick, and gives speeches about Christ. Actually, this is another thing I remember
from A.D. In the miniseries, Peter goes
up to a crippled beggar and says, “I have neither silver nor gold, but what I
do have I give to you: in the name of Jesus Christ the Nazorean, [rise] and
walk.” (Brackets in my Bible). Sure enough, that’s Acts 3:6. I remember being amazed seeing that on
TV. OK, I knew Jesus did that, but that
was because he was the Son of God, how come someone else could do it? (Answer, the Holy Spirit. I didn’t really get the point of that Holy
Spirit scene as a kid).
The speech is what you’d expect. Peter tells people they killed Christ, but they did it out of
ignorance. Well, that’s a nicer way of
putting it, giving them some sort of out.
But I can see why the movement will really pick up more with the
gentiles than the Jews.
Oh, and Peter tells people to repent. That’ll be a big theme for Christians for
the next 2,000+ years.
CHAPTER 4
Peter and the boys have been having some success – they’re
up to 5,000 converts now – but it’s too much success. They’ve drawn the attention of the Jewish leaders. That makes sense. They are in Jerusalem, after all.
They’re arrested and grilled by the religious leaders. I assume it’s the same guys who grilled
Christ earlier. Given what Peter says,
I’m amazed he isn’t executed. Peter and
friends stand their ground, noting that Jesus – “whom you crucified” is the
real deal. They’re actually impressed
that a bunch of guys the priests perceive as “uneducated, ordinary men” make
their case as strongly as they do.
No one is executed, because the guy Peter cured is there and
will testify on their behalf. So that
helps. Peter is released and gives
another speech about how great Jesus Christ is.
We get another look at the early Christian community, and
it’s clearly an ideal time. “The
community of believers was of one heart and mind.” I’m a tad skeptical; things are always perfect and pure in the
past. In reality, there are always some
differences – heck, we’ll see some examples next chapter, in fact. But I get the general gist. These guys were living in a utopia.
Our author informs us, “There was no needy person among
them, for those who owned property or houses would sell them, bring the
proceeds of the sale, and put them at the feet of the apostles, and they were
distributed to each according to need.”
Right there you can see a key part of the appeal of the community: they
look after one another; they care for each other. This is a real community; not just a collection of
individuals. (In fact, it’s clear that
the early community isn’t big on individualism – look after the all, not just
yourself).
The quote above can also show the limitations of the
community. You must sell your house and
give up the proceeds? Man, really? That won’t last long. It’s asking too much for most. That’s a practice for saints, not for the
masses. It’s also a sign that the early
Christian community didn’t expect the world to last much longer. (Why should
they? Hadn’t they repeatedly been told
that the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand?)
If the second coming is coming soon, why not sell all your good? But if it’ll be many generations until it
get here, you don’t want to sell your goods.
You got kids, after all.
CHAPTER 5
We have the first notable internal discord in that idyllic,
early Christian utopia. It turns out
that a husband and wife named Ananias and Sapphira have joined church. As such, they’re supposed to sell their
house and donate all the proceeds to the community for them all to live
on. Well, they do sell it, but they
donate only some of the proceeds. They
claim they’re giving the apostles all, but they’re really pocketing a bit.
Problem: Peter is on to them. The Bible doesn’t note how he finds out. He could have an inside source, or it could
be the Holy Spirit giving him solid info on real estate values in the Greater
Jerusalem Metropolitan Region. What
matters is that Peter knows. And he’s
not going to take this lying down.
He calls in Ananias first.
Peter asks if he gave all the money and Ananias says yup, it was. Cue the thunderous denouncement. Peter blasts the guy and blasts him good for
lying. To put it mildly, it has an
impact. Ananias falls down dead. He’s been denounced to death. That’s something you don’t see everyday on
the coroner’s report. His body is
hauled away and the wife enters. The
exact same thing plays out – question, lie, denouncing, and death. St. Peter:
capable of curing cripples with his touch, or berating liars to death. (Maybe
he just has really bad breath?)
That’s impressive, but if nothing else it shows just how
seriously the early church took its Christian communism. No, you aren’t supposed to have ANY private
property. Give it ALL to the collective
good. This must be one of those stories
that the modern vocal Christian conservative movement must pretend isn’t
there.
Anyhow, the apostles keep growing the community and
performing noble deeds until they get arrested again. They aren’t in jail very long, though. God breaks them out of prison.
God causes the doors to open and they all are able to leave.
Now, it should be easy to round them up again. When the Jewish leaders have a meeting,
that’s exactly what they’re calling for.
Some even call for death. That’s
not surprising, given what happened to Jesus, that they’d want his followers
executed as well.
But it doesn’t happen.
Instead, a Pharisee named Gamaliel has an alternate approach. Guys
- let’s not get hysterical here.
OK, so the Jesus movement hasn’t petered out immediately after the death
of their leader. Guess what? Give it time. We’ve had these movements before. We’ve seen these occasional
charismatic leaders spark up something and get executed. Their movement always collapses. We don’t need to kill more Christ followers
to kill their movement. Time will do it
for us.
It’s the soft sell approach, and by and large it works. There really have been a ton of charismatic
religious leaders popping up over the centuries, and yeah – typically these
things peter out after the leader dies.
But wouldn’t you know it? That
won’t be the case this time. Still, it
makes an interesting alternate history question. How is the world different if it isn’t for Gamaliel the
Pharisee? If the apostles are killed
off a year or two after Jesus dies, does the movement survive at all? Probably not.
So the apostles aren’t killed. They’re just flogged. But
they don’t learn their lesson and keep teaching Christ’s message.
CHAPTER 6
This is a short chapter (just 15 verses – so far the New
Testament has been full of very long
chapters instead). Two things
happen. First, the apostles decide they
need some assistants. They community is
too big just for them.
Second, we meet Stephen, a strong Christian who is arrested for teaching Christ’s ways. He’s antagonized some Jewish leaders, so they have people bear false witness against him in ensure a conviction. We meet Stephen here, but his main event is next chapter.
CHAPTER 7
This chapter is all Stephen. He gives a big speech in his defense. Well, maybe that’s a poor way of putting it. He really isn’t trying to defend himself so
much as defend his message. And he
figures the best defense is a good offense, so his speech is mostly an attack
against the Jewish leaders and his accusers.
It’s a long speech and most of it isn’t very memorable. Basically, he recaps the Old Testament. There is a lot of Genesis here, plenty of
Exodus, then some Joshua and some name-drops of others, like David and
Solomon.
After this too long of a build up, Stephen finally gets to
his main point. “You stiff-necked
people, uncircumcised in heart and ears, you always oppose the Holy Spirit, and
you are just like your ancestors. Which
of the prophets did your ancestors not persecute? They put to death those who foretold the coming of the righteous
one, whose betrayers and murderers you have now become. You received the law as transmitted by angels,
but you did not observe it.”
This isn’t just mild criticism. The leaders are so offended, that they take Stephen out and stone
him right there and then. This is a
turning point. There is no going
back. Christians and Jews are different
religions. Reading Stephen’s speech, he
already makes them different people saying “your ancestors” (they were your
ancestors, too, Stephen). Stephen is
the first martyr to the cause. Well, I
guess Jesus Christ is the first martyr. Yeah, there’s that one. But he martyred
himself for all mankind. Stephen is the
first person to die for Christ.
Click here for the next part of Acts.
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