Friday, December 27, 2013

Acts of the Apostles: Chapters 1 to 7

Click here for the end of the Gospel According to John.


CHAPTER 1

I wondered why this was considered to be written by the same author as the Gospel of Luke, but wow – it’s pretty dang clear.  This book starts with an introduction – just like Luke did.  (And Luke was the only gospel to do so).  This intro flatly states that this is the second volume, and the first volume was a history of Jesus Christ.  Oh, and the topper is that the author refers to the readers as “Theophilus” which apparently means “friend of God.”  I assume that modern Bibles don’t translate the word into modern vernacular as a way to hang out a sign saying “Same Guy Wrote Luke and Acts.”  There is really no reason not to translate it, unless you want to draw readers’ attention that the same guy wrote both.

I guess technically it could be someone else writing it and aping the style of the first, but as far as I know, no notable Biblical scholars think that.

When Acts begin, Christ is still with the apostles.  It’s post-crucifixion, but he’s returned.  Oh, and this is where we learn that Christ ascended to heaven after spending 40 days with his apostles.  So that’s where that detail comes from.  I assumed it was in one of the gospels, but didn’t know which one and figured I’d missed that detail.  Ah, I hadn’t.  Good to know.

Before he goes, Jesus promises his apostles that the Holy Spirit will come to them.  After he goes, they apostles hang out in Jerusalem, basically waiting to be Holy Spirit-ed.  Luke lists the apostles – and the list really throws me for a loop.  There are 11 listed. OK, that’s fine.  12 minus Judas.  Fine – but the 11th and last guy listed is “Judas, son of James.”  Wait – what?  There is still a Judas.  I got my list of apostles from one of the gospels and I see one name missing: Thaddeus.  Where is he?

Looking it up, Thaddeus is also known as St. Jude, and sometimes called Judas.  Apparently, I wrote down names from the wrong gospel, as at least one calls him Thaddeus, but he’s typically referred to as St. Jude.  Well, that sure was needlessly confusing.

Speaking of Judas (the betrayer, not Thaddeus), the apostles need to pick a replacement for him.  That makes sense.  They have two contestants: “Joseph called Barsabbas, who was also known as Justus, and Matthias.”  My God – how confusing is that.  His name was McGill, but he called himself Lil, but everyone knew him as Nancy.  I get the feeling Luke has a garbled notion of who or what was going on.

Anyhow, we’re told that the apostles, “gave lots to them, and the lot fell upon Matthias, and he was counted with the eleven apostles.”  Well thank God.  It sure would be annoyingly confusing if Joseph/Barsabbas/Justus was the new guy.   I just got over my Thaddeus/Judas/Jude confusion and don’t need another one.  Yeah, well – guess what?  In Chapter 4, there will be a reference to J/B/J as if he’s the new apostle.  The fuck?

Yeah, Luke really has a shaky sense of how the Miss Apostle Pageant went.

CHAPTER 2

When I was a kid, there was a miniseries called A.D.  It’s the Roman Empire from right after the execution of Christ until the 64 AD executions of Peter and Paul.  It wasn’t just on Christianity, but also on the various Roman empires, and some other stuff.  (James Mason played Emperor Tiberius in one of his last roles, for instance).  But the heart of it was on the early Christian Church, of course.  And some of the stuff in this chapter reminded me of that mini-series.

Here, the apostles get the Holy Spirit.  I remember this from the miniseries – a bright light above them, then they all start dancing around or something, and run outside to an ecstatic crowd.  It’s not the firmest memory, but there it is. 

It’s an attempt to capture Chapter 2 of Acts of the Apostles.  The Holy Spirit does come to them, appearing as “tongues as of fire.”  So that’s the birth light.  Then they began to speak in tongues, which is something Christ told them would happen before ascending to heaven.  This allows them to speak with people all over the world in their native tongue.  Basically, they’ve undone the Tower of Babel. 

They do go outside, and Peter gives a big speech.  It’s mostly what you’d expect – rejoice!  For Christ will lead to salvation!  He also says it fulfills a prophecy of Joel.  Huh, I remember him.  He was one of the Minor Prophets.  Also, notes how Jesus was the Messiah who “you killed.”  That’s not the last time we’ll see someone say that in Acts.  I doubt it was stated like that initially, because it sure is off-putting. 

And apparently Peter’s speech is anything but off-putting.  We’re told that right then and there he converted 3,000 souls to Jesus Christ that very day.  So yeah, he probably didn’t say, “you killed.”  Those are more the words of a Gentile (like Luke) who deals mostly with other Gentiles.

The depiction of the original Christian community sure is interesting: “All who believed were together and had all things in common; they would sell their property and possessions and divide them among all according to each one’s need.”   Folks, that’s communal living.  They lived on a commune together.  And commune is the root word for communism.  They are practically a religious form of communism.  As a write this, it’s a month or so since new Pope Francis condemned trickle-down economics and the like – and it’s easy to see why he’d do that.  The Bible is rather far from “Atlas Shrugged.”  Rather funny how some people like Paul Ryan can claim that the twin pillars of his world view are the Bible and Ayn Rand without even bothering to acknowledge the huge differences in them, let alone try to explain/rationalize them away. 

CHAPTER 3

It’s more of the Peter show.  He cures the sick, and gives speeches about Christ.  Actually, this is another thing I remember from A.D.  In the miniseries, Peter goes up to a crippled beggar and says, “I have neither silver nor gold, but what I do have I give to you: in the name of Jesus Christ the Nazorean, [rise] and walk.”  (Brackets in my Bible).  Sure enough, that’s Acts 3:6.  I remember being amazed seeing that on TV.  OK, I knew Jesus did that, but that was because he was the Son of God, how come someone else could do it?  (Answer, the Holy Spirit.  I didn’t really get the point of that Holy Spirit scene as a kid). 

The speech is what you’d expect.  Peter tells people they killed Christ, but they did it out of ignorance.  Well, that’s a nicer way of putting it, giving them some sort of out.  But I can see why the movement will really pick up more with the gentiles than the Jews. 

Oh, and Peter tells people to repent.  That’ll be a big theme for Christians for the next 2,000+ years.

CHAPTER 4

Peter and the boys have been having some success – they’re up to 5,000 converts now – but it’s too much success.  They’ve drawn the attention of the Jewish leaders.  That makes sense.  They are in Jerusalem, after all. 

They’re arrested and grilled by the religious leaders.  I assume it’s the same guys who grilled Christ earlier.  Given what Peter says, I’m amazed he isn’t executed.  Peter and friends stand their ground, noting that Jesus – “whom you crucified” is the real deal.  They’re actually impressed that a bunch of guys the priests perceive as “uneducated, ordinary men” make their case as strongly as they do. 

No one is executed, because the guy Peter cured is there and will testify on their behalf.  So that helps.  Peter is released and gives another speech about how great Jesus Christ is.

We get another look at the early Christian community, and it’s clearly an ideal time.  “The community of believers was of one heart and mind.”  I’m a tad skeptical; things are always perfect and pure in the past.  In reality, there are always some differences – heck, we’ll see some examples next chapter, in fact.  But I get the general gist.  These guys were living in a utopia. 

Our author informs us, “There was no needy person among them, for those who owned property or houses would sell them, bring the proceeds of the sale, and put them at the feet of the apostles, and they were distributed to each according to need.”  Right there you can see a key part of the appeal of the community: they look after one another; they care for each other.  This is a real community; not just a collection of individuals.  (In fact, it’s clear that the early community isn’t big on individualism – look after the all, not just yourself).

The quote above can also show the limitations of the community.  You must sell your house and give up the proceeds?  Man, really?  That won’t last long.  It’s asking too much for most.  That’s a practice for saints, not for the masses.  It’s also a sign that the early Christian community didn’t expect the world to last much longer. (Why should they?  Hadn’t they repeatedly been told that the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand?)  If the second coming is coming soon, why not sell all your good?  But if it’ll be many generations until it get here, you don’t want to sell your goods.  You got kids, after all.

CHAPTER 5

We have the first notable internal discord in that idyllic, early Christian utopia.  It turns out that a husband and wife named Ananias and Sapphira have joined church.  As such, they’re supposed to sell their house and donate all the proceeds to the community for them all to live on.  Well, they do sell it, but they donate only some of the proceeds.  They claim they’re giving the apostles all, but they’re really pocketing a bit. 

Problem: Peter is on to them.  The Bible doesn’t note how he finds out.   He could have an inside source, or it could be the Holy Spirit giving him solid info on real estate values in the Greater Jerusalem Metropolitan Region.  What matters is that Peter knows.  And he’s not going to take this lying down.

He calls in Ananias first.  Peter asks if he gave all the money and Ananias says yup, it was.  Cue the thunderous denouncement.  Peter blasts the guy and blasts him good for lying.  To put it mildly, it has an impact.  Ananias falls down dead.  He’s been denounced to death.  That’s something you don’t see everyday on the coroner’s report.  His body is hauled away and the wife enters.  The exact same thing plays out – question, lie, denouncing, and death. St. Peter: capable of curing cripples with his touch, or berating liars to death. (Maybe he just has really bad breath?)

That’s impressive, but if nothing else it shows just how seriously the early church took its Christian communism.  No, you aren’t supposed to have ANY private property.  Give it ALL to the collective good.  This must be one of those stories that the modern vocal Christian conservative movement must pretend isn’t there. 

Anyhow, the apostles keep growing the community and performing noble deeds until they get arrested again.  They aren’t in jail very long, though.  God breaks them out of prison.  God causes the doors to open and they all are able to leave. 

Now, it should be easy to round them up again.  When the Jewish leaders have a meeting, that’s exactly what they’re calling for.  Some even call for death.  That’s not surprising, given what happened to Jesus, that they’d want his followers executed as well.

But it doesn’t happen.  Instead, a Pharisee named Gamaliel has an alternate approach.  Guys  - let’s not get hysterical here.  OK, so the Jesus movement hasn’t petered out immediately after the death of their leader.  Guess what?  Give it time.  We’ve had these movements before. We’ve seen these occasional charismatic leaders spark up something and get executed.  Their movement always collapses.  We don’t need to kill more Christ followers to kill their movement.  Time will do it for us. 

It’s the soft sell approach, and by and large it works.  There really have been a ton of charismatic religious leaders popping up over the centuries, and yeah – typically these things peter out after the leader dies.  But wouldn’t you know it?  That won’t be the case this time.  Still, it makes an interesting alternate history question.  How is the world different if it isn’t for Gamaliel the Pharisee?  If the apostles are killed off a year or two after Jesus dies, does the movement survive at all?  Probably not.

So the apostles aren’t killed. They’re just flogged. But they don’t learn their lesson and keep teaching Christ’s message.

CHAPTER 6

This is a short chapter (just 15 verses – so far the New Testament  has been full of very long chapters instead).  Two things happen.  First, the apostles decide they need some assistants.  They community is too big just for them. 

Second, we meet Stephen, a strong Christian who is arrested for teaching Christ’s ways.  He’s antagonized some Jewish leaders, so they have people bear false witness against him in ensure a conviction.  We meet Stephen here, but his main event is next chapter.

CHAPTER 7

This chapter is all Stephen.  He gives a big speech in his defense.  Well, maybe that’s a poor way of putting it.  He really isn’t trying to defend himself so much as defend his message.  And he figures the best defense is a good offense, so his speech is mostly an attack against the Jewish leaders and his accusers.

It’s a long speech and most of it isn’t very memorable.  Basically, he recaps the Old Testament.  There is a lot of Genesis here, plenty of Exodus, then some Joshua and some name-drops of others, like David and Solomon. 

After this too long of a build up, Stephen finally gets to his main point.  “You stiff-necked people, uncircumcised in heart and ears, you always oppose the Holy Spirit, and you are just like your ancestors.  Which of the prophets did your ancestors not persecute?  They put to death those who foretold the coming of the righteous one, whose betrayers and murderers you have now become.  You received the law as transmitted by angels, but you did not observe it.”

This isn’t just mild criticism.  The leaders are so offended, that they take Stephen out and stone him right there and then.  This is a turning point.  There is no going back.  Christians and Jews are different religions.  Reading Stephen’s speech, he already makes them different people saying “your ancestors” (they were your ancestors, too, Stephen).  Stephen is the first martyr to the cause.  Well, I guess Jesus Christ is the first martyr. Yeah, there’s that one. But he martyred himself for all mankind.  Stephen is the first person to die for Christ. 

Oh, and we’re told one little detail, seemingly just in passing.  The stoners laid down their cloaks by a young man named Saul. We’ll hear more from him later.  

Click here for the next part of Acts.

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