Deuteronomy: Chapters 26 to 30

Last time, Moses was, well, rambling.  This time, the speech regains its focus and gives us one mother of a big finish.  Then the third and final speech comes along and plays a bit of good cop.

CHAPTER 26

After several chapters of aimless rambling on various laws, Moses is starting to wrap things up.  It’s kinda boring and there isn’t much to say about it, but it’s nice to see a sense of direction kick in.  This has been like watching a movie that’s gone on too long, with a bunch of reels in the middle that serve no real purpose other than just sit there. 

But now he’s talking about giving thanks, and giving tithes, and then concluding the chapter on the covenant.  OK, so it’s stuff we’ve heard before, but it sure sounds like the boss man is working his way to the big finish.  You can imagine a bunch of Israelis who’ve been nodding off poking each other in the ribs – “Psst!  He’s almost done.  It’s starting to sound important again! Wake up!”

CHAPTER 27

Now we veer into the big finish.  He tells everyone to write down the laws on two big stones and then have everyone pass by the stones on their way to the Promised Land. Yeah, they better be big stones with all the laws he’s spewed out.

And then he gives curses – a dozen curses.  These are curses for bad behavior.  The curses relate to: making a carved or molten idol, dishonoring your parents, moving a neighbor’s boundary marker, misleading the blind, depriving the alien or orphan or widow of justice, sleeping with your dad’s wife, having sex with an animal, sleeping with your sister, sleeping with your mother-in-law, secretly striking down your neighbor, killing any innocent, and failing to uphold the laws of God.  Yeah, those are pretty sensible things to curse someone for.  There is a strong theme of looking out for the people in trouble, and also of sexual impropriety.  (That said, none of the sexual impropriety involves homosexual behavior).

CHAPTER 28

OK, this is a long one.  For the last 20 chapters or so, the Bible has hummed along at a very steady clip.  It’s been a chapter per page.  Now this one is double that.  At 69 verses, it ranks as one of the longest in the Bible.  If I recall correctly, the only one longer in the entire Torah is the horrible to read Chapter 7 from Numbers.

Oh – and it’s also the end of this lengthy speech by Moses.  This is the big finish, which is why it goes on for so long.  By being such a long chapter and being the grand finale of Moses’ biggest speech, this is a rather important one.  So what’s he talking about?

DOOM.

Well, there are some opening pleasantries.  Moses does talk a bit about obedience and abundance. But that’s out of the way in the first 15 verses, and the next 50-plus is Moses prophesizing the downside of pissing off the Lord.  Verse 15 begins, “But if you do not obey the voice of God” and all the rest is about all the horrible things that’ll happen to you.

First, you’ll be cursed.  He completely inverts the opening pleasantries.  There he said you’ll be blessed in the city and in the country if the follow God’s laws.  Now they’ll be cursed in the city and cursed in the country.  But that’s not all. You’ll be sent into a panic and made to feel frustrated.  You’ll become sick – violently ill.  You’ll suffer drought where the heavens will “give your land powdery dust.”  Hey, Israel will have a Dust Bowl!  You’ll have boils like the Egyptians did in the plagues.  Skin diseases that make you itch?  Blindness!  Madness!  Panic!  None can be cured!  All it needs is Biblical stage direction of a crash of lighting followed by Moses cackling like a madman.

And Moses is just getting warmed up.  You’ll be oppressed by your enemies.  “Your sons and daughters will be given to another people while you strain your eyes looking for them every day, having no power to do anything.”  Some of these verses must’ve really resonated with Jews after the Holocaust, by the way.

You’ll be sent into exile.  You’ll be laborers, but won’t be able to enjoy the fruit of your labors.  Locusts!  And these curses will keep following on you until you’re destroyed.  And it’ll be the Lord’s doing, too: “He will put an iron yoke on your neck, until he destroys you.”  A nation from far away will take you over. (Re: Persia).  You’ll be put under siege and made to experience a new level of hell. And that’s not even the capper! How bad will it be?  Get a load of this:

“The most refined and fastidious man among you will begrudge his brother and his beloved wife and his surviving children any share in the flesh of his children that he himself is using for food because nothing else is left him”  HOLY SHIT!  Not just cannibalism, but eat-your-own-child cannibalism!  And that’s not all.  The “most And fastidious woman among you” gets her own version – “she will begrudge her beloved husband and her own son and daughter the afterbirth that issues from her womb and the infants she brings forth because she secretly eats them for want of anything else.”  Man, she’ll eat placenta?  

And that’s still not even the capper!  OK, they can’t top that one for disgust, you still get more plagues and last but not least, you’ll be sent into exile.  “So will the LORD now take delight in ruining and destroying you” – man, delight! That’s the word they use here, delight! – that you’ll only have one last place to go: Egypt.  You know, the place you escaped once before as slaves.  And, “there you will offer yourselves for sale to your enemies as male and female slaves, but there will be no buyer.”  (Cue massive crash of thunder and the maniacal laughter of Moses)

That’s the final insult – you’ll go back to Egypt, and not even wanted.  Holy shitballs!  This is bringing the house down with unholy fury. 

What to make of it?  Well, the typical approach of Biblical scholarship is this.  Deuteronomy was written during the reign of King Josiah to justify his religious reforms.  And what’s more, the general belief is that the author of this also wrote Joshua, Judges, Samuels 1 and 2, and Kings 1 and 2 – the history chapters.  They weren’t written from scratch, but based on pre-existing sources.  But the interpretation of Deuteronomy pervaded.  All kings are judged based on how they upheld what’s now the fifth book of the Torah.  And it was designed to culminate in Josiah himself.

Then Josiah died, and his reforms ended and Israel was taken over by Persia.  The writings were already out there, so instead of deleting, there were some additions thrown in.  The fall of Judea would be shown as the result of the wickedness of the people for not upholding the law of God. 

Chapter 28 of Deuteronomy isn’t the only part of the Bible that warns that the Israelites will be destroyed if they don’t follow God’s laws, but it’s certainly the most direct, forceful, and lengthy.  Much of what is being discussed had actually happened. Israel had split, been kicked around, suffered at the hands of their enemies, and then taken over by a faraway land: Babylonia.  And when Babylon came, many did in fact flee into exile in Egypt.  (Including the prophet Jeremiah, who Richard Elliot Freidman argues is the most likely author of Deuteronomy and the whole Deuteronomic history section). 

So that explains the passion and the furor.  It’s based on lived experience.  Plus it’s necessary to explain how horribly things had gone wrong.  Just a generation ago the priests thought a golden age was upon Israel and wrote the history accordingly – and now look!

So those are the words put in Moses’ mouth for the end of his second and longest speech.

CHAPTER 29

But there’s a third speech.  This is just a summation type speech.  The second one was the main event.  I imagine everyone hearing the big speech, taking a break, having dinner, stretching their legs – and then coming back before going to bed for the short final touch speech.

There’s a reminder of the covenant covering all – not just those alive now, but future generations, too.  There is a warning against idolatry.  And beware the anger of the Lord.

It’s pretty much points made previously.

CHAPTER 30

Now for the sunny side of Moses.  After scaring everyone straight, he holds out hope.  After an extended bad cop routine, he tells them that God is also capable of being the good cop.  Repent your ways, and he’ll restore your fortunes.  He might delight in destroying you, but he’s an alright guy despite that.  Straighten up and fly right, and you will regain what was promised you.

Again, I can imagine how these chapters would read to Jews in the 1940s.  You survive the Holocaust, the ultimate low point, and right after that the survivors get their own land – in the old Promised Land no less: Israel! 

This chapter is absolutely vital to explaining the survival of the religion of Israel.  If it’s just a morality tale on what went wrong, then there is no reason to think the religion will survive. God offered us a chance, and we blew it.  No he hates us.  End of story. 

But wait!  The story isn’t over.  You can reclaim all that once was.  You can bring back the good old days.  It all depends on how you act.  So don’t give up the faith.  Know hope.  And so the religion survived. 

Moses lays it out starkly at the end – “I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse.  Choose life.”  As much as I’ve mocked parts of Deuteronomy for being a rambling mess, I’ll say this for it, when the big moments come, Deuteronomy sure does deliver! 

EDITED to add: to continue click here for Deuteronomy, Chapters 31 to 34